Babybat Poem Post #3 & 4

I can't sleep so I might as well give you guys (and ladies) something to read. I think this was the first poem I have ever written. I wrote this at the end of 6th grade which is when I REALLY started to get into the subculture, but still didn't know as much as I do know.I'm not really sure the reason why I wrote this. I think this is when I was getting bullied and I was having suicidal thoughts going in and out of my brain. (Yes I was suicidal, but it's okay. I'm fine now. That was a LONG time ago and my view on everything changed so don't worry :) )

Hate

Two shots of hate from a mouth as loud as a gun,
Like an assassin ... who does it for fun.

Two deafening blows in a war that has just begun,
Life gone away...I'm done.

Two red roses sitting on my coffin, the wind blows, leaving only one
The world I know disappears...like the setting sun.

Okay, that wasn't long enough so I think I'll post another. (Your welcome :P) This one was from late 8th grade. My moms ex-fiance used to abuse me. (Your probably wondering why I'm telling you all these things. If I tell people it helps me let go) This went on for about a year in a half. I didn't tell my mom because he made her so happy and I didn't want to ruin that for her. Thankfully the wedding was called off because he was too controlling of her. But before then I wrote this:

Black Roses

This pain, for so many years,

Left me in a state impossible to shed tears.

Inside, I cried.

Within, were strings in my heart, tightly they were tied.

You could throw me, you could beat me,

You could whip me in a circle of your greed,

I could sit, wait and bleed.

My deterioration was your elation.

It's this wretched place,

It's got me crazed one way and you in many others,

For you, your heart fluttered.

For me, my mind went to the gutter.

If I could be blessed by your death,

You'd get my blessings by my last breath.

But on this day of gloom

Inside the black roses always bloom.

You love it when I abide to what you wanted,

If I resigned like a dog I'd be hunted.

Although alone I was always treated like a dog

and alone I licked my wounds

in the distance you laughed like a fool

but I could care less

nail me to the wall with you and your tools

I'd enjoy that foolish look on your face

Hell, I'd look you in the eyes and you'd question me being out of place

You could throw me, you could beat me,

You could whip me in a circle of your greed,

I could sit, wait and bleed.

My deterioration was your elation.

As these days pass soon I will disappear without a trace

And all I could hope for is never again see your face.

All I ask if my prayer is granted

that seeing your heart stop is surely a great deal of magnificence

Let alone the thought of your absence

I'd be glad to bless my own prayer one way or another

When I strike you you'd utter a small word

a yell of plea

but let's be glad in the end we'll both be set free.

I came up with the title because black roses symbolize death (if you didn't know that already.) It's a bit dark, but I hated that man. It's taken some years, but I just recently forgave him. Okay I think I gonna try to get some sleep. I've got school in the morning..well in a few hours...