I'm Really Sorry..

It's pretty obvious that I haven't been on in a while. My laptop broke :/ I'm on the library's computer right now, but I just wanted to tell you guys that I most likely won't make any more posts until school ends. I haven't forgot about you, I promise. I just don't really have time to update as often as I have been. But if your lucky, I will be able to squeeze in a post or too before summer. But don't expect it. Sorry again. :(

I Have A Lot Of Work To Do

This is a very short post, but I just wanted to let you know that I wont be able to post till Friday. If we're lucky I'll post before then, but have TONS of homework I need to get done so it doesn't look very likely. Until then, you should read my older posts or go read a different blog.

I Need Ideas For Pants

I really would love to have some cool looking DIY pants, but unfortunately all I know how to do is burn, slice, and safety pin things. My mom doesn't like the slicing and burning part. I've tried learning how to sew many times and I failed many times. I was just wondering if you guys have any other methods of creating interesting DIY pants. I also like the whole bondage look, but I don't know where I can find straps or zippers.

For the ladies

Not really my style, but I like how she dyed them.

These are Tripp pants, but I still think they look cool. Plus they're purple which makes them even cooler. :)

I Fixed It!!!

I fixed my gadget things. I'm not sure you noticed, but in my archive (dungeon) and my popular post thing, it didn't show the summaries and it didn't have drop down arrows. The label section also didn't have the numbers next to it, but I fixed it...I just wanted to let you know that. :)

I Need Help With My Hair

I don't know if you looked at my profile picture or noticed my hair in my outfit posts or not, but I plan on growing dreads. I've been thinking about this for a while and thinking up the pros and cons of having dreads. One of the cons were that you can't wash your hair. Well I like to have clean hair. So I talked to my stylist about that. She gave me some kind of herbal hair 'shampoo' to put in my hair that cleans it without getting it wet and screwing up the style. So that's taken care of.


(Source:Google) I would love to have my hair this color along with black...






(Source: Google)...Or even this color looks pretty cool.

Another con for me personally is that my mother won't let me die my hair an unnatural hair color. I'm not sure if you can tell or not, but my favorite color is purple and I think it would be "totally rad" if I could have purple and black dreads. But she just won't budge. So I was wondering if any of you know of cool looking hair colors that are natural other than blonde, brown, and black. Hopefully I can talk her out of her decision like I did with my tattoo decision, (more about that around my birthday, March the 6th. I'm getting a cute little bat on my shoulder X3.) Of course, when I move out it will be a new color practically every month. But until then I need your help. :(

Babybat Poem Post #5

This? Oh it's just another break-up poem. Hey since we're on the subject, you wanna know a secret? *whispers* I've never broken up with a girl before. Honestly, I haven't. Every time my relationships end it's always either they lose interest, or they cheat on me.... :/ Anyways, here's the poem:

Insomnia

You are forever buried in a chasm of darkness,
Your name will be a lasting curse to me.
Hell shall devour your earthly goodness
Such a lie, you made tears a memory.

Promises you gave which never reached heaven
I loathe every damn picture of bliss
You left my heart in total unbearable burden
You poisoned me with your last kiss.

The night comforts me with an eerie feeling
But I guess everything is much brighter
In the darkness, I cast my eyes to the ceiling
And see nothing but silhouette of an ever after.

Now it's over and you leave me with open eyes
Tears rage down with hymns of lore
I still think of you despite your disturbing lies
I dream, but not of love anymore...



I can't exactly remember when I wrote this. Probably when I was 13 or something.

Babybat Poem Post #3 & 4

I can't sleep so I might as well give you guys (and ladies) something to read. I think this was the first poem I have ever written. I wrote this at the end of 6th grade which is when I REALLY started to get into the subculture, but still didn't know as much as I do know.I'm not really sure the reason why I wrote this. I think this is when I was getting bullied and I was having suicidal thoughts going in and out of my brain. (Yes I was suicidal, but it's okay. I'm fine now. That was a LONG time ago and my view on everything changed so don't worry :) )

Hate

Two shots of hate from a mouth as loud as a gun,
Like an assassin ... who does it for fun.

Two deafening blows in a war that has just begun,
Life gone away...I'm done.

Two red roses sitting on my coffin, the wind blows, leaving only one
The world I know disappears...like the setting sun.

Okay, that wasn't long enough so I think I'll post another. (Your welcome :P) This one was from late 8th grade. My moms ex-fiance used to abuse me. (Your probably wondering why I'm telling you all these things. If I tell people it helps me let go) This went on for about a year in a half. I didn't tell my mom because he made her so happy and I didn't want to ruin that for her. Thankfully the wedding was called off because he was too controlling of her. But before then I wrote this:

Black Roses

This pain, for so many years,

Left me in a state impossible to shed tears.

Inside, I cried.

Within, were strings in my heart, tightly they were tied.

You could throw me, you could beat me,

You could whip me in a circle of your greed,

I could sit, wait and bleed.

My deterioration was your elation.

It's this wretched place,

It's got me crazed one way and you in many others,

For you, your heart fluttered.

For me, my mind went to the gutter.

If I could be blessed by your death,

You'd get my blessings by my last breath.

But on this day of gloom

Inside the black roses always bloom.

You love it when I abide to what you wanted,

If I resigned like a dog I'd be hunted.

Although alone I was always treated like a dog

and alone I licked my wounds

in the distance you laughed like a fool

but I could care less

nail me to the wall with you and your tools

I'd enjoy that foolish look on your face

Hell, I'd look you in the eyes and you'd question me being out of place

You could throw me, you could beat me,

You could whip me in a circle of your greed,

I could sit, wait and bleed.

My deterioration was your elation.

As these days pass soon I will disappear without a trace

And all I could hope for is never again see your face.

All I ask if my prayer is granted

that seeing your heart stop is surely a great deal of magnificence

Let alone the thought of your absence

I'd be glad to bless my own prayer one way or another

When I strike you you'd utter a small word

a yell of plea

but let's be glad in the end we'll both be set free.

I came up with the title because black roses symbolize death (if you didn't know that already.) It's a bit dark, but I hated that man. It's taken some years, but I just recently forgave him. Okay I think I gonna try to get some sleep. I've got school in the morning..well in a few hours...

My Problems

Sources: Google

You know what I don't get? When people discriminate against goths of colors. I hate feeling like I have to prove myself to both goth and non-goth people. Or even worse like in my situation, when your friends or family say "you got that from white people." That kind of stuff really pisses me off. I hate comments like that because it's not true. I've been interested in things considered 'gothy' since 4th grade. The first visual inspiration I've ever seen was from this band my friend introduced me to called Black Fire. Of course they play punk rock or 'alter-Native' as they call it, but that and Lenny Kravitz started my whole interest in getting into the whole alternative music thing. Then, of course, my music interests expanded as I grew older and (somewhat) wiser about what exactly it is I like in music. I studied the band pictures on the internet trying to be like them as much as I could and was comfortable with. That's what made me who I am today. Music. Not 'white people.'  My parents also think that I'm not proud of who I am and that I wish to change my race. This is also not true. I am very proud to be of the African-American race. Yes, I loathe the racist comments and stereotypes that come along with it, but everybody has had their share of hate splashed on their faces. (Some more than they deserve.) Also, sometimes I get the comment "you can't be goth, your not pale enough." To which I reply "Well I'm so goth I was born black." That usually sends them off in laughter. To me it was funny the first few times I say it, but it's getting old fast. I'm going to end this post by saying thank you for using your time to read my blog and there will be more posts to look forward to. That's it for today.